Tears from Heaven

August 15, 1935

This was the day my Dad was born. He would have been 77 today. Doesn't that sound old? He passed away when he was 71. I wish I had talked to him more about what America was like when he was a kid. He talked about it some, because he grew up in New York City. He used to tell me stories of running around the city, getting into trouble & being adventurous. In my mind, he was a city version of Huckleberry Finn. He was very independent, he taught himself to drive, owned his own small business, and somehow made it through life without ever learning to swim. He traveled the world, and saw all but one continent. He made dozens of trips to Asia and Europe. Among his belongings I found a photograph of Hilter. He was a very interesting human being. Despite being adopted, I am a carbon copy of him. We look alike, we mostly think alike, and we have the same spirit. I can't tell you how many times I have heard my mom say, "You are just like your father!"

I have fond memories of him, and I know my middle/high school friends do as well. Everyone that met him was greeted with a warm hug and a gentle smile. And you always left smiling. One of my favorite memories was from when I was in college. I was watching Finding Nemo with them, but left before it ended. When I called to say I had made it home safe, he answered the phone and said very sincerely, "the little fish made it. I just wanted you to know". I said, thanks Dad. Little did I know that would be one of the last good memories I had of him. Kait has this movie on our shelf and every time I see it, it takes me back to that day and that phone call. It makes me slightly sad to see, but mostly happy, because that was just who he was.

I think about him every day, but especially today. He was a great keeper of gifts & every year I spent weeks figuring out what to get him, just the right gift. He was always grateful no matter what you got him, but of course I wanted it to be special. When he passed away, I found a box of most of the gifts I had given him over the years. I was so floored when I found it. I couldn't believe he kept so many of my things. He must have treasured them, so the time I spent thinking about his gift was well worth it. Kait sometimes makes fun of me for holding on to things, birthday cards, postcards, etc. But the feeling that came over me when I found that box, was priceless. You just never know when it is going to be the last time you hear from someone.

My dad was taken from me when I was 23. That is a long time, but at the same time, not long at all. I was lucky to spend 23 years with him. Of course I wish I had more, but the 23 were wonderful. Well, 21 of them. Two watching him slowly pass away were not. But 21 glorious years. No matter what age you loose someone close to you, its difficult. I pray each day for those in the same situation to feel no pain. I feel for people like my friend Ashley, who's son will never really know his father because he passed away when his son was so young. She will tell you though, that out of great heart ache can come great miracles. My Dad left me a lot to live up to, and I work on it each day. In a long series of events, it led me to Kaitlyn, and that is a road I am glad I have traveled. I thank Heaven above for her every day, and I hope she knows that.

Every time I hear Phillip Phillips song, Home , it makes me smile and these past six years. I felt so many emotions when my Dad passed away. I was mostly lost, I just couldn't image achieving any more milestones without him. I just kept hearing him say, "Keep holding on, it will get better", "hang in there, you can do it", or "I am with you, I am always with you". He was right. I kept going, I kept hoping and praying, and in September of 2010, my whole world changed. I have so many things I am looking forward to again, and I have Kaitlyn here with me for all of them. She has made me able to settle down, and make this my home.