It's a gay thing ...

Well, the past 24 hours have been quite busy, both in Austin and in Washington. This day, regardless of it directly affected you or not, is one that will go down in history. I realize most of my entries are in regards to my sexuality. But it is the most prevalent topic for me. And really, I hope it is more interesting than some of the other blogs that are out there!! 

While today’s rulings affect millions and millions of individuals and their families, it also indirectly affects more people than you know. It makes me think – while we are thanking our politicians that spoke for us today, let us not forget those who are not with us to thank. To the many people whose lives were lost because of discrimination and hatred, those who were murdered, and those who decided to end their own lives. We are always reading about people getting attacked and beaten for being gay. I see so many sad stories about kids who couldn’t take the bullying. So many young people affected because they are scared to be who they want to be. I am 30, so your opinion is of no consequence to me. But I can’t imagine being 15 and having to hear all the ass-clowns with their ridiculous opinions on gay marriage, or just being gay in general. How does my relationship really affect yours? I can’t think of one “straight” relationship that has ended because I live in a house with Kait. None of my neighbors have moved out, in fact, they are all very nice to us. Our town hasn’t become destitute; no one we know is trying to marry a horse or a plant. None of our gay friends are child molesters or pedophiles. Being gay (contrary to what some will tell you) did not cause the Boston Massacre, the tornados in Moore, OK, Hurricane Sandy, or any other disaster for that matter. None of our friends have to get weekly shots to avoid catching “the gay disease”, no one is trying to take us for a lobotomy, and certainly no one’s relationship is coming apart because of who we are. 

Today was a huge step in the right direction. We have to wait on the state of Texas to legalizing gay marriage. That might take a while, but we are positive about it and will continue to live our lives, regardless of what politicians tell us what we can and can not do. We will start a family, continue to work and pay our taxes. We will continue to live our lives and will wait for the day that it is legal for us to be joined as one. What a ridiculous statement, if you stop and think about it. It’s not like I am waiting for you to fly me to space. I’m “waiting” for you to say its “OK” to love someone else. Someone that you don’t even know and will never know. Our families have all accepted us, our community, and our friends. Why I have to wait on a bunch of politicians is beyond me. But regardless, we will wait. Not quietly, mind you. Your opinion will not change who we are in our everyday lives. We will talk about the person we love, we will be with the person we love, and no legal standing will change that. We aren’t hiding. We are not two different people in public than in private. Our relationship is not hidden from anyone, and shame on you who think it should be. We are not just “friends”, or “roommates”.  We take care of each other in every way, and no ruling will ever stop that. 

My last paragraph is dedicated to those who don’t think before they speak. Every time you use the phrase, “oh, that’s so gay”, “don’t be a fag”, “that’s queer”, let me remind you. Those words sting. They hurt. They may mean nothing to you, but they do mean something to us. There is no need for them, and I am tired of people using them in such a derogatory way. Parents, hopefully you teach your kids not to use any derogatory terms like this, that apply to more than just the gay way of life. Calling someone “retarted” or making fun of people for their skin color or religious background is NEVER ok and it is not going to ever stop if we don’t make an effort. Bullying is a problem, but one that can be fixed. It has nothing to do with becoming stronger or just ignoring it. Why do it in the first place? What’s so wrong with being nice to one another? What’s so wrong or scary about telling someone we need to make it a better place? One person CAN make change. Just ask Eddie Windsor. Martin Luther King, Jr. Rosa Parks.  If none of them had bothered to take a stand, do you even want to think where we’d be today? 

I don’t.

For my one and only ....

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but I just haven't had the time to sit down and write it.
2012 was a busy year. 365 days packed full of stuff. Kaitlyn and I bought a house and created roots, where we can hopefully live for a very long time. It was slightly (ha) stressful, but now that we've been in the house a few months, it was well worth the wait.

Today is our 2 year anniversary, and ironically we are in Colorado where it all began. I always make fun of Kaitlyn, because though she swears she had feelings for me, she spent a whole weekend with me, avoiding eye contact and barely saying more than two words. That was in September 2010. I came back to visit in December 2010, staying over the New Year holiday. We had been in contact the entire time I was away, so I hadn't seen her in a few months. Over the course of the next nine months, I would make many more trips to Colorado, and she was able to come visit me in Texas. It was a long nine months, it's not very easy to get to know someone simply using phone calls, texts and emails. But we made it work. She made the very brave decision to move to Texas and we decided to really see if what we felt over a bunch of strung together weekends was really what we thought it was.

Obviously, it was meant to be and here we are today. Most days it still seems unreal to me. It seems unreal that after all the time, distance, and miles apart that Kaitlyn could fall in love with me, and continue to love me, day after day. I know I am not always easy to deal with, but I will tell you that she handles me every day and only loves me more each day. I think people always assume that after time that love starts to fade, but I am proud to say that is not the case for us. Painted on our bathroom wall is the phrase, "I Love The Way You Love Me". I look at it every day & it brings peace to my heart that Kaitlyn will love me every day for the rest of my life. Though we have many more obstacles to overcome, I am confident that we can face them together. As heartbreaking as it would be to not "be able to" marry Kaitlyn, in an official ceremony, I have full faith in my heart that no piece of paper is going to make us more committed to each other than we already are. It's stupid and trivial that I even have to make this consideration. I shouldn't have to ask people that never will know me or my story to marry someone that I love. Another argument for a different day, but regardless, whether it is approved by the government or not, I already have everything that I want. I met Kaitlyn and I knew the minute I saw her, that there was something special about her. I felt it, and if you ask her, she too will tell you the same thing. It is a wonderful thing & I still feel it when I look at her. I wish for everyone to have this feeling. Because it truly is magical.

This song is the very first song that was "our song". Everytime I hear it, it still brings me back to those first few days I met Kaitlyn. This one is for you, bug. You are my best friend, my soul mate, and my better half. Here is to many, many, many more years and memories together. I love you sweetheart.