I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always

 September 17, 2006.

I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was at the gas station with my mom, we were already on our way to see him. The nursing home called me & said I needed to be there soon, my Dad wasn't doing well. I thought it was odd that they didn't call my mom, but later I realized why. They knew he didn't have much longer. We got there and walking into the hallway we were greeted by all the nurses. They all looked concerned. I walked into where my Dad was. He was hooked up to the oxygen & not breathing very well at all. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it really, really hard. He was kind of rocking back and forth & you could tell he was scared. He had Alzheimer's, and it has been months since he recognized me. But he could feel me on that day. He looked scared but calm to see me. I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Dad, I love you. It's going to be ok. I love you and we will be ok". He had told me once a long time ago that he was scared to die.  We had probably been there about five minutes. It was too much for my mom so she had to leave the room. It was just me & him, and all I could do was hold his hand. A few seconds later, he was still and he was gone. He was smiling and I held on to his hand a few more minutes. I knew I'd need to remember that for the rest of my life. I walked out of the room and told my mom. She cried & all the nurses were crying too. They gave us a few minutes to clean out his room. The local funeral home came and got him, so we could bring him back to Lewisville.

His funeral was on September 20, 2006. It was such a windy day. My mom was worried no one would come to the funeral, but we were so shocked by the number of people that showed up. Almost my mom's whole school came, and a bunch of my friends that I hadn't seen in a long time. It meant to much to me. My uncle gave a wonderful eulogy & it made me happy to remember my father like that. I carried one of his favorite rosaries & to this day it is on my nightstand. I will keep it always.

My Dad was everything to me. He was my hero, my buddy, the funniest guy I'd ever met. I wish so much he could be here to see how I am doing today. He would love that we are moving into a brand new house & he would be so proud to tell all his friends. He would love Kait & he would love that I am happy. That was all he ever wanted. It is hard that he isn't here when I need fatherly advice. He always knew what to do or say. But I carry him with me every day & try to be the person he'd want me to be.

The picture above is the last good picture we have together. I wish we had more, but I have many memories of him to keep with me. When it's quiet at night, I think of him and I miss him. He read me the children's book with the line, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be". That is true. As long as I'm living, his baby I will be.